


The Crossover That No One Wanted

by Bam4Me



Series: WhiteGate [1]
Category: Stargate SG-1, White Collar
Genre: Dante Haversham and Martin Loyde are the same person, F/M, Gen, Hehehe, Jaffa Neal, M/M, Mpreg, Neal is Daniel and Sha're's baby, Neal is part Jaffa which is the entire reason for this fic, Neal on Broadway because I find that funny, Sha're is not dead, Shifu and Neal are twins, Shifu is Amunet and Apophis's baby, alien Mozzie, because neal TECHNICALLY does have a womb now..., hints at a million side fics for now, kind of, sha're and daniel and jack all together eventually because i can, she ascended, why is everything i write for wc a neal/mozzie mpreg fic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 09:00:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3804529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bam4Me/pseuds/Bam4Me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I swear, tags say it all, things you didn't know you wanted until 10k+ later and fifteen side fics planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Crossover That No One Wanted

Peter frowned at the papers on his desk and tapped his fingers against the table in frustration.

"The director himself wanted you."

"Uh... yes? He said I would be an independent contractor."

Peter nodded, still frowning, "You know that means you're not authorized to carry a weapon for anything other than self defense, and even that you would need to apply for, right?"

Neal cleared his throat quietly, wondering if this guy was just going to glare at him the whole time. He straightened his back a little, "I'm okay with that. I don't like guns anyway."

Peter hummed, "Says here, one of your dads is military. Figured a military brat would know how to handle a gun."

Neal looked unimpressed, "I see you know how to read a form congratulations, on passing the first grade."

Peter gave him an unimpressed look right back.

Peter's unimpressed look was a fair bit scarier than Neal's.

Neal cleared his throat a little louder this time, "Sorry. Bit of a rough move to the city, not been very happy so far. My dads are actually two very different people. Papa is a military general who's run the same base since I was twelve, and Daddy is a civilian consultant, been working there for the same time. But, I got Daddy's genes out of the two of them, don't like guns as a result. I can fight, I could disarm a man with nothing but a stick, or less, I just don't like weapons who's primary function is to kill."

Peter's finger stopped tapping on the desk, giving Neal a hard look, "I understand everything the director gave me except for one thing." He closed Neal's file and leans forward, making Neal feel just the littlest bit nervous.

This man had his whole file, or at least what the SGC had cleared him to be able to view at all, there were many questions he could come up with.

"Why a consultant? You were on Broadway for five years. You didn't even need to get a new job, much less here."

Neal paused, "Well... It's in my file, I had a sudden... change of consciousness."

"What exactly does that mean?"

Neal frowned, "I got self conscious. I was doing the Prince of Egypt for four years and running. Then I had a surgery and now I have a giant scar on my stomach. I got self conscious."

Peter sat back with a frown, looking honestly interested, "Yes. It said you had about 90% of your organs rearranged."

Neal nodded, "They told me I could cover myself better, but I couldn't risk it. Like I said, I've become self conscious. I feel best in clothes that cover everything."

Peter nodded and Neal sighed a little. Honestly, he was lucky his dads weren't demanding he move back to Colorado to lower risk of him getting hurt. "Why a consultant?"

Neal's eyebrows furrowed, "Excuse me?"

"You have the knowledge. You went through training that some probies never even touch. You have a military cadet background-"

"Technically I was home schooled-"

"On a military base with clearance that you need to be as high as the president to even get on site of."

Neal paused. "Your point being?"

"Why not just become an agent?"

Oh. Oh... Neal looked around the room for a second before sighing, "Listen, Agent Burke, my expertise doesn't exactly lie on the safe side of the law. If I became an agent, things that the director is hiring me for, would become off limits, for many reasons, and I just don't think it's worth it to trash an entire line of work that could become useful to you. I kind of made some odd friends when I was on Broadway."

Peter sat back with a hard look, "You mean, the director wants me to hire a criminal?"

Neal's nose wrinkled a little, "I wouldn't exactly call myself a criminal. I've never done anything before that could be called criminal. I just, have some connections that the director thinks might be useful."

"So, you're being hired as what exactly?"

"Exactly that. Whatever you need. I'm your new unofficial lesion to the criminal world. I've been working closely with shady people for years, I know my way around them by now."

Peter shook his head a little, "This still sounds a bit shady, I'm not sure I can work with that."

Neal sighed, "You could at least give me a chance. I mean, if you don't know what you're working with, how you could you know if it won't be useful?"

It was quiet for a minute, while Neal tried not to look nervous.

Mozzie said he would grow out of his nervousness, but Neal just couldn't see that happening any time soon. He felt like he'd drunk three espressos in a row. He's done that before.

Neal cleared his throat for the third time, quietly again though, shifting in his seat, "Listen, I think the real reason they wanted to hire me was for my own good. The director is worried that one day, if he doesn't find a way to use my talents now, he's going to be arresting me later for me finding my own use for them. I understand that's not a very good resume, but surely you trust his judgement enough to give him the benefit of the doubt, if not me."

Peter sighed, "Fine. One month basis period."

Neal's lips quirked into a smile, finally feeling calm, "I'll try not to let you down."

***

The biggest thing to ever effect Neal Caffrey's life, was an event before he was even born.

Neal's mother, Sha're's kidnapping, happened while he was still in the first month of her pregnancy.

His father hadn't even been aware that she had been pregnant.

Neither had she.

Neal was born though, nine months to the day later, along with his few-days-younger brother, Shifu.

Maybe we should rewind a little here.

Amaunet, the Gou'old possessing Sha're knew as soon as she was in her body, that Sha're was pregnant. So, she decided to get a move on things as soon as possible.

She hadn't exactly known it would be possible to get pregnant with another. Okay, she wasn't stupid, she knew it was possible, she just didn't think it would.

You get it?

Anyways, that had left some side effects for both the children.

Daniel Jackson though, may have been Egyptian born and raised, but he was still a Caucasian male. This means light skin.

Apophis wasn't light skinned though.

When one baby came out with dark tan skin, and the other pink and pale, he knew one of them at least wasn't his.

Nayvalian was the lucky winner when a genetics test showed him to have a separate paternal parent than Shifu.

Well, what could a homicidal dictator do but what he had to do?

***

"He will not be kept alive."

Amaunet frowned, trying to ignore the Abadonian screaming in her head, "My host is distressed by this. She does not wish him killed."

Apophis scowled, "What would you have me do? Send him back to his whore father?"

Amaunet thought it over for a minute, no longer ignoring Sha're in her mind. "This is what my host wishes."

She paused a moment listening to Sha're's grateful begging, "But, this would be both a chore, and a dangerous one at that. Give him to one of the slave colonies. He has a symbiotic pouch, will make a good Jaffa when he's grown."

***

Nayvalian did live, on one of the slave colonies.

No one there was ignorant to his heritage though, and he was branded as a blood traitor right away. His forehead bore the mark of Apophis soon after.

His caregiver barely paid attention to him, giving him the most minimal of care until the day would come where she could kick him out without him dying on his own.

Amaunet ignored the voice in her head telling her she was a fool for at least not giving her son a proper home with people who would love him.

Amaunet scoffed at her, saying that while branded as a blood traitor, her son was lucky to even be alive.

***

Nayvalian saw his family a lot. They came to take new slaves, and kill anyone too weak or old to work in the mines.

He knew who they were. He didn't really understand it though.

Shifu was his brother, Amaunet his mother.

Apophis was not his father.

Nayvalian and his brother grew faster than any of the others he saw. When other babies should have been 2, he was twice as big as them.

Nayvalian didn't understand it, but Shifu seemed to. Nayvalian seemed to be growing mentally, but not nearly as fast as Shifu.

Shifu felt bad for his brother, for more than one reason.

Nayvalian just didn't seem to understand any of it.

***

When Nayvalian was eight years old in size, Apophis died while they were on planet.

Nayvalian let out a broken sob, trying to push himself further under his bed when he heard loud footprints in the hallway, trying to be anywhere else as he heard the men talking about how they were going to 'string the little brat up when they got him.'

Nayvalian didn't know what that meant, but he didn't think it would feel very good.

He heard steps coming towards the bed fast and couldn't hold back the loud sob that escaped him, covering his mouth with his hand though the tears made his face slick.

A hand reached under and he was pulled out roughly.

He was ready to beg for his life when he looked up into the most unlikely face of anyone to find him.

Amaunet.

Nayvalian let out a louder sob, scared now that he was going to be tortured before he was killed.

He knew what torture was, he saw it nearly every day.

Amaunet shushed him, pulling him into her arms almost gently and standing up with him, one hand going to the back of his head and forcing him to turn into her shoulder.

Nayvalian could just barely see over her shoulder to see the small boy about the same size as Nayvalian following Amaunet.

Shifu.

Nayvalian let out a small desperate sound, trying to burrow further into Amaunet's arms.

***

Amaunet didn't make it out of the village that day.

She was gone before they even made it to the chappa'ai.

Sha're was gone hours after they stepped through to Abados.

***

Kasuf was a good man.

At least, that was Nayvalian's first impression of him when the man welcomed his daughter and both her sons into his tent to rest without any further explaination when they came through.

Nayvalian was a wreck right away, clinging to his grandfather's arms in his lap, unable to understand it all while his uncle split his time between caring over his sister and trying to sooth his nephew.

Shifu did his best to stay strong at his brother's side, one hand firmly lodged in Neal's while he meditated.

It seemed that this was just another thing that Nayvalian didn't understand that Shifu did.

Shifu tried not to feel sorry for him about this.

***

Daniel Jackson was an honorable and loving man.

Nayvalian listened to him and Sha're speak Abadonian to each other in her last hours, moments after the doctor they brought with them said she couldn't be saved, and all the way till she took her last breath.

The white light that engulfed her surprised him, scared him a little. Daniel Jackson just gently stroked his hair and told him that meant she would be okay. She might not be able to talk to him, but she would always be watching.

Nayvalian had been moved into the arms of a gray haired man, who held him like he thought Nayvalian would fall apart if he didn't.

Nayvalian was pretty sure he would anyways.

***

Earth was different. Cold, strange, hard.

Scary.

Nayvalian clung to Daniel Jackson, the man who was his father. The man he'd never met until today.

Nayvalian seemed to be clinging to people a lot today.

It was loud too. He didn't understand a word of what people said except for the gray haired man, and Daniel Jackson.

Shifu was calmly speaking the alien language to the woman in white while she wrote on the paper with a stern look on her face.

Nayvalian just didn't understand.

Daniel and the gray haired man spoke his language, but they also spoke the alien language.

They seemed to be the only ones not yelling here.

He pushed the side of his head further into Daniel's chest, one tiny hand coming up to smother his other ear while he pushed his thumb of the other hand into his mouth. Daniel didn't pull him away.

Daniel gently swayed in place with him, hunching over Nayvalian, one large hand coming up to help muffle the noise.

Jack looked around for a moment before grabbing a jar of cotton balls and pulling one out.

He tore the ball in half and quietly coaxed Nayvalian and Daniel's hands away from Nayvalian's head. He inserted the torn cotton as loosely but gently into those tiny ears as possible.

Nayvalian didn't react, just pulled the now free hand down to tangle his fingers into Daniel's shirt and kept staring ahead with a blank look.

Jack frowned at the look and gently slid his finger's into the little boys hair, lips twitching when Nayvalian pushed up into his hand.

"He's so small. But, he should be so much younger."

Daniel nodded, frowning, "Three. He should be three. Nearly four. He's tiny, but he's also physically eight I think. He's growing fast like Shifu."

Jack nodded, leaning into his friend's side so he could keep a more focused eye on Nayvalian's face. "Name's a mouthful. Not hard to pronounce, just long."

"Not that long to say. Honestly, I'm more worried about his own reaction when we say it."

Jack nodded, "He flinches, like he thinks it's bad to say his name."

Daniel nodded, "Sha're said she wasn't able to keep a very close eye on him, but what she could see, he wasn't exactly liked by the people keeping him."

Jack snorted, "Wasn't liked? That world was a wreck. And I don't think it was just the rebellion that did it. It was a slum."

Daniel nodded, "Just be glad Apophis didn't want him dead, Jack. He could have been..."

Daniel trailed off, sounding like his voice was about to crack. Jack slid one arm around Daniel's waist, letting the other man slump into his side this time, the little boy in his arms unaffected by the slight shift in Daniel's stance.

"He's alive. Not fully human Janet said, but he's alive, and well, considering that he has a symbiotic pouch in his stomach. She says chances of it opening are slim, since it's under developed."

Daniel nodded, looking over at Jack with lost eyes.

Jack's heart melted a little, "We'll get through this. They'll move in with us, it'll be fine."

Daniel's lip quivered a little, "Jack, I just got two baby boys, one of which doesn't speak anything but Arabic, and has no idea what's going on right now, and the other one's a harcesis of all things- Jack, I never thought I would be a parent. Not even when me and Sha're were still together. I always thought Skaara would end up getting married and I'd be an uncle, but... I don't even know. It just never really crossed my mind for too long."

Jack paused, thinking that over, "But, does that mean you never wanted them?"

Daniel looked down, mumbling, "I never said I didn't, Jack. I want them, both of them. I don't care that Shifu isn't mine, he's Nayvalian's brother, and Nayvalian is mine. I want them both."

"Then, you have them."

Daniel snorted, "You know, I never thought it would really be that easy."

"It won't be. Promise."

***

Nayvalian didn't like this world.

It was cold.

He didn't like the people.

They were loud.

He didn't like the food.

Until Daniel started cooking.

He didn't like the weather.

Colorado is very passive aggressive and needs to just pick something already. It's April. Stop snowing.

He didn't like the people, for other reasons too.

Someone called him a 'damned immigrant' and told him to 'go back to the middle east to blow people up'... to be fair, that man was highly intoxicated and was quickly escorted out of the coffee shop soon after.

Nayvalian didn't understand.

As usual.

Nayvalian's tiny hand squeezed around two of Papa Jack's fingers while he led them down the street, away from the loud shops that Daniel was braving to get them all food towards a park across the street from them.

There were some kids already out on the playground when they got there, and Nayvalian was cautious enough for it to make him pause before letting go of Papa's hand.

Shifu seemed a bit happier, easily integrating himself into a group of children much more quiet than the rest to play on the swings.

Nayvalian's other hand didn't leave it's place, curled up in front of his mouth while he nibbled on the tip of his thumb, looking at the other children with wary eyes.

Papa sat on the bench in front of them and slid one hand into Nayvalian's wild black curls, scratching at the scalp in a way that Nayvalian really liked.

"Nelly, you should go play with your brother."

Nayvalian looked at Papa with worried eyes, "Shi is fine. He's bigger than me, he understands more."

Shifu wasn't physically bigger by much, but Nelly was actually talking about mentally. Nelly was barely five mentally, and it caused some issues where others were concerned, but he seemed to be catching up in intelligence rather quick.

Well, English was still coming on a little slow, but he was his father's son, he'd grasp it quick enough.

"Shi is bigger, but he has a harder time being little like you, and playing. He needs your help just like you ask for his when you have trouble learning."

Nelly paused, his hand coming down from his mouth finally, "Will Shi be mad if I don't play?"

"No, but he might miss you."

Nelly looked over at Shifu and back to Jack before shrugging, "I need to help my Shi now. Bye-bye."

***

Nelly was physically nine years old when he learned just how scary his daddy could be.

Of course, it was't directed at him, but God will it never was, because that was one can of worms Nelly wasn't ready to open yet.

It was when they were out at a coffee shop, Nelly getting his usual hot chocolate despite the 75 degree weather and oversized sweater he had stolen out of Daddy's dresser that morning.

There was a guy in a suit, talking loudly on his cell phone behind them in line while Nelly gave his order. He insisted on doing it himself because he didn't speak enough as it is and would never learn English if his family translated for him constantly.

Well, Nelly's English must not have been fully up to par, because the man deemed it suitable to mention it to whoever he was talking to over the phone.

Nelly was almost scared by the way that Daddy had turned on the man and virtually reamed him out, voice dangerously low and quiet, explaining about how everything the man knew about immigration was wrong and to discourage a child to learn the native language of the region they live in is both hypocritical and counter productive to the bureaucratic world that the man seemed to be feeding off of.

Well, lets just say that the majority of that speech stuck with Nelly long into adulthood, firmly reminding him not to become so invested in this worlds monetary system, and that Daddy is not a man to be crossed. He knew too many things to not be a dangerous person.

Knowledge is power.

***

When Nelly was nine years old physically, he finally seemed to understand.

He lived in Colorado, and very close to Chyanne mountain. Thunderstorms happened, but noise wasn't often an issue.

Up until now they usually seemed to be in the mountain when they happened, Nelly and Shifu completing their independent studies in Daddy's office while him and Papa worked.

Nelly was all the way on freshman geometry and science right now.

Daddy and Papa were very proud.

But, they were home now, and Papa had a downright outdoors loving home.

Unfortunately, that meant the thunderstorm outside was actually very loud to hear.

Nelly bolted upright in their bed, startling Shifu into wakefullness next to him, looking immediately to Nelly to see if he was okay.

He wasn't.

Nelly had wet lines going down his face and another crack of thunder had his lip wobbling, looking close to letting loose with a loud cry.

Shifu was torn between reaching out to comfort his brother and getting up to get their daddies, and launched himself from the bed, deciding that the more people to comfort Nelly, the better.

Daddy and Papa were quick to wake from years of working at the SGC, and followed Shifu into the boys room right away, finding Nelly trying to burrow into the covers and loud sobs racking that tiny body.

Daniel slid onto the bed beside him, pulling him, blankets and all, into his lap, holding the boy tight while Jack and Shifu slid in on the other side.

That night when Daddy held him close, rocking back and forth in a way that Nelly had only felt a few times in his life, but felt so comforting, and Papa and Shifu curled up close and listened to Daddy tell stories about why the gods made lightning and thunder, about why he shouldn't be scared because it was like the sky painting itself, Nelly thinks he might finally understand.

Family.

***

Neal still jumps at thunder by age ten, but now it's more because it's a surprisingly loud noise than because of downright fear of it.

Daniel had opened the curtains to the back patio and slid open the doors, setting up two easels and canvases in front of the area, a big sheet under their feet so they wouldn't make a mess on the floor.

Papa was making soup, okay, well, Daddy was making soup, but he was currently engaged in a thing, so he was directing Papa on how to make soup. Papa watched the two of them though and complemented Nelly's work.

They didn't have the same style by far. Daniel was using coloured charcoals and white paper. Nelly was using dark paints and canvas.

Papa said he couldn't decide which one he liked better and asked if he could hang both on his office walls.

For the first time ever, Nelly felt pride in something that he had created.

Shifu argued that he wanted Nelly's painting hung in their room.

Nelly felt bashful that so many people thought he was good.

Daddy just felt happy that his little boy was happy right now.

It's all progress.

***

When Nelly was eleven, Daddy and Papa started bringing him to Janet for weekly visits and check ups.

At first he didn't understand why, but Shifu told him he was Jaffa, but might not ever be able to carry a symbiote like Uncle Teal'c did.

Nelly wasn't exactly sure what this all meant.

Uncle Teal'c had a symbiotic pouch in his tummy that could carry a symbiote in it. Daddy and Papa and Shifu didn't have that.

Shifu said that him and Daddy and Papa were a different species than him and Uncle Teal'c.

Nelly rolled his eyes when he was cleared to leave after yet another check up in a month. This was getting tedious.

***

At thirteen, Papa enrolled him in bootcamp with the other academy brats and Shifu.

Shifu flunked out right away because while he knew how to defend himself, he refused to strike first. It was almost funny.

Then Nelly was alone. He didn't like that. Other kids called him weird for his name.

He didn't get it, why could a name cause so much trouble? Why could a name make others call him weird.

Nelly didn't get it, but he didn't have to. Nelly stopped letting people other than his family call him Nelly, if it would shut them all up, he'd change his name.

It's Neal now, not because he wants to conform to their rules, not even because it makes them happier. Because it makes them go away.

Neal was finding a lot of things that made others go away. It was easiest to just make them all go away.

***

At fourteen, Neal met Martin Loyde, the writer and creator of Wormhole X-Treme.

The man himself, for all that his daddies complained about having to work with him, was surprisingly more... classy than expected.

Neal had set up an easel in the meeting room outside of Papa's office that morning. He was allowed to be left undisturbed as long as he wore the noise canceling headphones Auntie Sam gave him when they had an actual meeting going on.

He liked the view out the window to see the chappa'ai. It was pretty.

Doesn't mean he was actually painting it though.

Right now he was working on a re-creation of Starry Night, one of his favorite pieces by far, for many reasons. He didn't have his headphones on when Martin came into the room though.

Martin and him were the only ones in there when he came in, his dads still in Papa's office talking for now, when Martin came up behind him, humming as he watched the teen paint.

"Beautiful work."

Neal smiled a little, turning to see the older man, "Thank you. My art instructor wants to see how many different kinds of recreations I could do that would pass most inspection."

The man smiled, nodding, "Ah, a proper way to gauge ability to use multiple methods and reach standards you might not otherwise have tried for. A proper way to teach in my mind. I believe you'll do well with this method."

Neal turned away, a little flushed in his cheeks but he wasn't sure why.

The SGC was full of prodigies, and there was an oddly high amount of people around with some of the same talents that Neal had in art and definitely math and science. It wasn't often someone other than his parents and Shifu complimented him.

"Only one issue I can see with your work under these conditions? Colour. Some of your colours are a bit off."

Neal knew that, of course he did. He knew his colours. But, he'd been having a slightly frustrating day today, and wasn't mixing his colours right. His cheeks turned a slightly darker shade of red, this time in shame as he turned away from Martin with his lower lip between his teeth.

"No they're not." Neal nearly groaned at his own words. Really? Denial never works in these things, you dolt! Besides that's he knows you're lying.

Martin gave him a slightly amused look as he hummed again, "You sure about that?"

Oh, it's on now.

***

When Daniel and Jack finally found their wayward son in the confrence room with Mr. Loyde, they had to physically pull the two of them apart.

And then send them both to medical to get rabies shots, blood drawn, and whatever other creative torture Janet could think of as suitable punishment for finding Neal with his teeth embedded in Martin's arm.

Down in medical when Daniel and Jack finally got down there after speaking about the best idea for punishment (they had to get creative. Neal didn't have many friends, and the only place he really frequented was the Chyanne Mountain Zoo because of how close it was, and a few coffee shops. Punishing him was almost impossible) and deciding on a stern talking to that might at least make him feel some shame, they got there just in time to see Neal slipping into the curtained off area that Martin was in.

Daniel and Jack got annoyed looks on their faces. He never stayed where he was told to either. Not even on the world's most secure and secret military base in existence.

They paused outside the curtain, listening to Neal mumble out a worried apology for biting him.

"Well, I guess I should say sorry for baiting you."

"Nah, I knew you were right. I'm just also a bratty teenager who ocassionally has the mind of a nine year old with attitude issues."

"Ah, the issues of being younger than your body."

"Yeah. Daddy says I'll always be his little kitten, I don't think I'll ever fully grow up at this rate."

They heard a snort come from Loyde, "Growing up is over rated. Your hair falls out and you start getting wrinkles."

Neal let out a small laugh, sounding young. "Daddy hasn't lost any hair yet. He's got wrinkles on his forehead and eyes though. Papa says I gave him gray hair though."

"I don't doubt that."

Daniel and Jack grinned at each other. Even after sinking his teeth into a guys arm, Nelly could still make friends with anyone. Maybe they could hold out on their not-punishment for a bit.

***

Neal was fourteen the same year that he graduated. He was also in regular contact with Mr Loyde, something that Daniel and Jack weren't fully sure if they should be worried about yet to be honest.

Neal hadn't taken a single course in an actual classroom and Daniel and Jack were worried that it was starting to show. He was... reclusive.

That's when they decided to try to get him to go to an actual campus.

"Daddy, I don't want to leave home, you know that. I'm too young to live by myself anyways. I'd probably die within the first week."

Daniel grinned a little, "Yeah, but there are campus' in Colorado Springs close enough for an airman to drive you to every day."

Neal chewed on his lower lip for a minute while thinking about it, "Daddy, that would mean going to places with people that I don't know. If I was anyone else I would say yes, but sometimes, I look at others and think that maybe I don't know how to be as human as everyone else. Daddy, I'm not sure if this would work."

"Sweetie, nothing is so different about you that you couldn't blend in if you didn't try. You know that."

Neal snorted, "You sure, Daddy? I mean, last week I forgot the word reluctant and spent half an hour with one of the airmen trying to figure it out in English. I'm-"

"Nelly, baby, you speak English just fine. Sometimes you need a reminder, last week Papa had to gently tell me that I wasn't speaking a word of English in the conference room during a meeting."

Neal snorted again, "Daddy, I don't even know what I want to do."

Daniel shrugged, "Then fuck off for a few years." Neal looked shocked at his father's language. Daniel never used bad words. "Yes, Baby, there is a time and a place for using every word, and I think that fits perfectly. You're fourteen. Take a ton of preliminary classes to get them out of the way now, and some art, you love art, you would have fun with those."

Neal nodded, looking down nervously for a moment, "Um, Daddy, what if I want, to, uh, take dancing classes..." Neal trailed off quietly, looking nervous. Daniel just gave his boy a wide grin.

"Then I would ask what kind so I can help you get set up in just the right ones."

Neal smiled at his dad, looking happy.

***

Theatre.

It was... interesting... a bit thrilling.

Neal had always liked pretending to fit in, no matter how much he didn't. It was exhilarating. Neal was almost scared that theatre itself wouldn't be enough.

But, when Neal had the perfect role, it was like the best rush. It felt like finally getting his way, spotlight on him, and a whole crowd of people cheering for him.

It felt like, he finally belonged.

Of course, that could just be the fact that it felt amazing to trick everyone into thinking he was something he couldn't be, just for the smallest amount of time.

It was the most real he'd felt in years.

Probably ever.

He felt accepted.

***

Neal was sixteen when Martin came back to Colorado for another meeting with his dads.

Of course, he'd gotten so much better at all he did since then.

The first thing Martin did when he saw Neal painting, the exact same thing as the last time two years before, was give him some off kilter quote about the past repeating itself not always being the worst thing in the world.

Neal just replied that it might if this went the exact same way as it did the time before.

Needless to say, Neal didn't sink his teeth into anyone that day.

***

The biggest act Neal had ever preformed on stage by age seventeen, wasn't even his best.

His best by far, was actually one of the secondary roles in The Normal Heart that had gotten him three different scouts offering him full scholarships if they would transfer to their school.

Neal wasn't fully sure about leaving the state yet.

"NYADA."

"Yeah. They want you."

Neal looked at his dad in shock. "That wasn't even my best performance! This role isn't even all that great."

Daniel and Jack were quiet, eating dinner while the seemed to have a quiet conversation with their eyes.

Shifu was the one that finally spoke up, "When a man is recognized for something that's not his best work, does that lower the standards he sets himself to, or strive to be better seen elsewhere?"

Neal blinked a few times, giving him brother an odd look, "I swear to goddess, if you say something about candlelight and food, I'm gonna have to hurt you."

Shifu swallowed a bite of chicken with a prim look on his face, "I would never do such a thing. Not to you at least."

Daniel scowled, "Why won't anyone tell me what that means?"

Neal snorted, "Because they get off on knowing one more thing than you."

***

"NYADA is all the way in New York."

"Yeah. They want me to start this term. Daddy's worried that I'll get killed within the first week, and Papa warned me that if I accidentally kill someone if they try to mug me, I might be on my own when it comes to consequences."

There was a long pause between Neal and Martin while they sat in front of the gorilla cage at the Chyanne Mountain zoo, Neal sketching one of the babies while Martin glared at a small child with sticky hands that looked like it might wander a bit close. "Does your dad think you might actually kill someone if they try to mug you? Because New York might not be the best place to send you in that case."

Neal shrugged, "Nah, Papa makes a lot of weird conclusions sometimes."

Martin shook his head, looking back at Neal's drawing when the child wandered away, "I have a place up in New York. Okay, I say a place, but it's more like, several places. I wouldn't mind babysitting for a few years while you do your thing."

Neal's lips quirked upwards a little, "Are you offering to tuck me in at night and make me those awesome dinosaur chicken nuggets that Daddy once made me and I threw them up so he never made me them again? Cause, I could do that."

"What, throw up chicken nuggets all over me?"

"Nah, I'll aim elsewhere. I mean tuck me in and read me bedtime stories. You can totally do that and I would let you."

"Yes, because you are internally five?"

"And eternally."

"Okay."

"Awesome."

***

New York was awesome. Like, really awesome.

Neal liked the way that he could blend in with just about any crowd, at any time. He liked the way that he could give a person a completely fake name and they would buy it just like that. He liked the way that no one here knew him as that one immigrant kid who messed up his English far too often and once got lost in a supermarket when he wandered away from his dad and the service desk had to call him to come collect him.

That last one was pretty nice.

He also wasn't that one kid who spend too much time at the zoo, which was great, cause that meant he had perfectly enough time to wander through the New York zoo with Martin- eh, Mozzie here actually- and draw monkeys without people looking at him funny.

Mozzie was great too, he seemed to be rather invested in the more... illegal, side of things going on in the city. Neal got invited to a gala at the Egyptian embassy last month with Moz when he made friends with a royal there. That was awesome.

New York, at eighteen, the legal age to... do things.

Okay, so maybe, that part he wasn't so good at. Last week, a really hot guy flirted with him and Neal almost cried cause he got so nervous that he spilled his drink on him.

Neal wasn't doing all too well in that department yet.

Mozzie had laughed until Neal hit him. Rude.

Either way, it was great.

Neal didn't regret coming out here.

***

Nineteen was awesome. Shifu was here to visit, but Neal didn't get a chance to see him nearly as much as he would like. He was in and out of dance, music and singing lessons all day long, six days a week.

His parents had taught him to take at least one day a week off if the world wasn't in mortal peril if he could. So he did.

This week he had chosen to spend the day off curled up in a ball in the bath tub, wondering if he could burn his skin off with tub water. It sounds like it would make him feel better.

There was a knock on the door and he mumbled out a small sound that might have been 'come in' just as easily as 'go away' before the door opened.

Shifu stood in the doorway, looking amused before he came all the way into the room and knelt next to the bath tub. "You do not look well."

Neal uncurled and sighed, sitting up a little straighter and poking at some of the bubbles. "I feel like I got stepped on by an elephant. And it hurt. I feel like غائط."

Shifu smiled down at his brother and reached out one hand to tug on a stray curl of his hair, "You did well in your dance lessons this week. Your teacher did not think so as well as I do though?"

Neal shrugged, "He always thinks I'm doing something wrong. Maybe he thinks I'm good enough to hold higher, eh... standards?" Shifu nodded at his brothers words and Neal continued on, "He holds me of higher standards. It is my thought."

"Possibly. I think you're doing well."

"Thanks."

***

"Happy birthday!"

Neal's eyes fluttered open before the man groaned, "You're in my apartment."

Daniel and Jack grinned, "Yeah. Your landlady let us in. She's nice, we like her."

"Mmm, like her from afar please. I'm sleeping."

Jack grinned and reached out to ruffle those untamable curls, "We know that, it's why we woke you up."

Neal sighed and sat up, before squinting at the bright light coming on from the windows, turning his head to bury it into the pillows again while he took stock of his body.

The bed was empty on the other side, so Mozzie was already up.

It's not like they were sleeping together, they just kind of... slept together... like, platonicly, ya know? Like, like... sleeping together.

Neal quietly sighed to himself. It was very complicated. But not. Ugh.

He sat up again and frowned, "You came, all the way up to New York to wake me up early on my day off, and remind me that I'm physically twenty years old, but, not... Jesus my life is hard to explain."

Daniel snorted and slid onto the bed next to Neal, "Baby, if you tried to explain your life to someone, you would end up getting just as confused as them. By the way, in case you're still confused about it, you turned thirteen years old today. And twenty, but that's the odd part."

Neal gave a drawn out groan, pushing his head into his dad's shoulder tiredly, "Daddy, shut up."

Jack smirked and slid onto his other side, making Neal frown and feel ganged up on. It was too early for this shit. "Well, it's not often that you both become, and stop being a teenager all at the same time, but here you are."

Neal shook his head, "Where's Shifu? It's his birthday too."

"He's getting breakfast with your boyfriend."

Neal groaned louder this time, "Oh my god."

Daniel and Jack just smiled at each other over his head.

***

Broadway.

Like really, Broadway.

Like, how even? Neal didn't even know. Okay, there were a lot of hings that happened in Neal's life that he couldn't explain, but really, how the fuck?

Maybe this should need an explanation though.

Okay, so Neal, is like, completely, whole-heartedly, entirely dedicated to his work. Except for that one part of him that's completely, whole-heartedly, entirely dedicated to Mozzie, but that's actually a different part of him. Yeah, he doesn't know either.

Anyways, Broadway.

Like, he's totally into that.

Which is why he's sitting here now, at age twenty-four after an entire year working on the set of a Midsummer Night's Dream getting fitted for the lead role in the Prince of Egypt.

Which he kind of wanted to laugh at.

Like, think about it for a second here; Daniel Jackson was born and raised in Egypt for the first eight years of his life. Sha're was born in Abydos, a close decendant of Earth Egyptians. Sha're's father, Neal's grandfather, was the leader of the Abydonian people. By all unofficial channels, Neal Daniel Caffrey is the closest thing on planet Earth that they currently have to Egyptian royalty, and according to his own birth records, both him and his mother were born in Egypt. He was almost literally the prince of Egypt right now.

He could almost hear the fans calling the producers out for him being too white though. Wasn't his fault he got his father's complexion.

Though, to be fair, he was going to at least try and get a tan within the next month or so before the first showing. If he had the time.

If he didn't drink himself into a nervous coma first that is.

Yeah, if his birth records didn't become public within the next two months just for people to prove he's actually a good main actor for the play, he'd eat a pillow out of shock.

He needs to remember to call Daddy and make sure everything on his birth records were correct right now, that would probably be best.

***

Neal was twenty-eight when the pain started.

Actually, he was twenty-eight when the pain stopped too, but it probably wouldn't have happened if Mozzie hadn't had the forethought to call his parents and get him moved to Colorado for an emergency surgery that could otherwise not have been explained to anyone else.

Neal was twenty-eight when Neal woke up after a six hour surgery and had Aunt Janet tell him that she had to rearrange 90% of his internal organs because of a sudden growth in his currently unopened symbiotic pouch.

It wasn't a growth like a tumor. No, the womb was growing.

Janet told him that he probably had about two-four years left before the pouch was ready to be opened and he'd spend the rest of his life either with a blank slated symbiote in him, or taking tretonin.

Neal was twenty-eight when he took his leave from the theatre and started thinking of other things he might want to do with his life that might not end up in him being being exposed because his shirt got ripped on a stage in front of over two hundred patrons.

Neal was twenty-eight when he asked his dads if he could come home for a year and lay in his old room to figure things out for the future.

Neal was twenty-eight when Mozzie and him came back to Colorado (with Mozzie occasionally skipping out for a week or two to go on set for Wormhole X-Treme) and got a temporary job at the SGC working for his dad to translate a library of Gou'old knowledge.

Fun.

***

"Daddy, this is just plain boring."

Daniel snorted, not looking up from where he was trying to strip paint off an arthurian tablet that Sam had been worried might be too sensitive to use chemicals on.

Neal thought about helping him instead but paused. Daddy was the one that taught him how to do that in the first place, he was fine.

"You speak and read fluent Gou'old. You grew up around the language, it was one of the first two you could speak. I trust you better than anyone to translate for me."

Neal groaned, watching his dad slap Vala's hand away when she reached for something shiny on his desk. He flopped down on the couch in his dad's office and pushed his face into a pillow, looking out at Daniel with a bored expression.

"Are you doing this because you're punishing me for something?"

Daniel smiled, still looking down at his work, "No, but to be honest, it is a fathers prerogative to make their child do boring and mundane things just for the torture of it."

Neal sat up with a mixed expression on his face before sighing. "Can I take Vala to the zoo? She might like to see the monkeys."

Daniel paused for a second, "Am I about to get a call from the zoo saying you let the penguins out again? Because that wasn't funny the first time, and it was even less funny the second time."

"That's because the second time I also let out the corn snakes."

"And Daddy nearly had a heart attack that day. Papa nearly had an anurism."

"Mozzie laughed."

"Martin helped you do it."

"Yeah."

Vala snorted, "Your husband sounds like an interesting man. When I met him yesterday, I only felt the need to strangle something."

Neal grinned, "It's cause the two of you are a lot alike. Mozzie is not to be trusted under any circumstances, and neither are you, so, you know. Also, he's not my husband, he's my boyfriend... Kind of. It's complicated."

"It's been complicated for what? Five years now?"

Neal shrugged, "Well, we're not very big on discussing things, so it's been a thing for a while now."

Vala smirked, "I hear you're very famous on this world. Something about singing on a stage. I did not think that would still be so popular on such an advanced world."

Neal smiled, if there was anything he loved, it was theatre. "We could leave the mountain, Moz could even come with us, we could talk about it."

Daniel frowned, "Three cons all in one place, I'm sending an airman out with you."

Neal just rolled his eyes and strolled out of the office arm in arm with Vala, one hand straying to his stomach when he felt an odd twinge at walking from the stretched muscles.

He'd be fine.

***

It took less than a year for him to get a job at the FBI.

His boss was great, and his boss' wife and Mozzie got along great too, so it wasn't like it was tough to be here anyways.

"I don't trust your boyfriend."

Neal frowned, "What, to be alone with your wife? Because, I promise you, that's really not his gender."

Peter shook his head, amused, "No, I mean I don't trust him... anywhere? He's just, shady. I know he's helped on cases before, but he's like..."

"Me? He's like me, but worse. But yet, you somehow trust me. You realize Moz would never do anything that would hurt anyone right? This not includes you, your wife, and your little dog too, now. He's protective to be honest."

Peter hummed as they stepped out of the elevator onto the white collar floor, "I don't know. I just, there's something... inhuman about him."

Neal snorted, visibly laughing while he held himself back from saying 'no duh, aliens are like that' and paused to pour himself and Peter some coffee. "I'll tell him you said that. It'll warm his cockles to know you're worried he'd not an upstanding member of the tau'ri people."

"Tau'ri?"

Neal paused and used the moment to hand Peter his coffee, mentally kicking himself in the ass. He should probably check the terms he knew and used regularly at the SGC to actually figure out if they were things other people used. "Uh, yeah, you know, tary, tary like... am I not saying it right? Daddy always said English was the hardest language to learn, even years later it still messes me up..." Neal shook his head in mock frustration, looking unworried about his slip.

Peter shook his head a little too, taking a long drink of his coffee while he looked at Neal fondly, "What were you trying to say?"

"Uh, like, you know, not immigrant, but the other, like-"

"Native?"

Neal let his face lite up happily, "Yeah! That, I don't know what I was mixing it up with, it just didn't come out right."

Peter nodded, "Must not have."

***

"Did something happen when you were a kid that involved... uh, cleaning?"

Neal's body froze, before slowly turning to look his uncomfortable boss in the eye, "What does that mean?"

Peter shook his head a little, leaning back in his chair, "Nothing really, I've just noticed some things. You don't shake hands, and maybe it's the fact that you scrubbed my kitchen skin for half an hour last night while El tried to calm you down? I don't know, just some little things."

Neal's eyes narrowed, "You sound like my dad right now, all snark and completely blunt. You should stop that."

"Now you're deflecting."

Neal rolled his eyes, sighing, "Okay, yeah, I'm a neat freak, and I completely do not understand the odd ritual that is hand shaking. I mean, not only does it promote the spread of germs, but why the hell do people hold hands and wriggle them when they want to say hello? It's not even logical. And people who say that a handshake can tell you everything you want to know about a person are full of crap. If I shook your hand would you be able to tell that I grew up in another country and watched my mom get slaughtered right in front of me? No, a handshake doesn't tell you a think about a person."

Peter looked over at the wall of his office and made a frustrated face, "I'm not even sure where to start with that? Okay, I understand why you might not like shaking hands if you find it weird, lets start with that. If you don't want to, you don't have to. But then, there's the fact that you just upheaved some major childhood trauma in less than a sentence, and now I'm not sure if I should be digging into your past to find an abusive home to bust or if I should bring up the fact, that once more, you've deflected my original statement to prove that you don't want to talk about what happened last night with the sink."

Neal sighed again, "If you dug into my past, you wouldn't find anything. Everything before I was eight is classified. But yes, it was a very abusive household."

Peter nodded, "Anything I should be worried about, like, maybe, what caused last night's breakdown in my kitchen?"

"Blood. Ever since I got my organs rearranged, I'm afraid of looking down to see my stomach splitting open."

Peter thought about this for a moment, "I've only had minor surgeries, is this a normal fear from a major one?"

Neal shrugged, "Auntie Janet said that sometimes after such a big surgery people feel like everything might fall out sometimes. Said that I might feel like everything is growing and strangling me. She said a lot of bad feelings might happen."

Peter nodded, "Your aunt Janet was the one that preformed the surgery, right?"

"Yeah. Daddy and Papa didn't trust anyone else to do it."

"And last night when you cut your arm?"

Neal looked down at his right arm, covered but he could feel the way that the gauze clung to his skin under the shirt. It hadn't been that bad of a cut, but by the time El had it wrapped up the sink was full of blood. They'd had to call Mozzie to come get him and bring him home after he started obsessively cleaning. "I started thinking about it. It's a phobia," kind of, ", and so it couldn't really happen," at least, not to the rest of Tau'ri citizens it couldn't, ", but I started thinking about it, and I felt like if I didn't make the blood go away it would."

Peter nodded, "I hope you realize, that me assigning you to therapy isn't because I think something is wrong with you, but because this is the type of reaction that we can't afford to happen in the field."

Neal nodded, "Yeah. If one of my dads had a reaction like that they would pull them out of the field too."

Peter nodded back, "Good. Now that that's done, I hear that El and Haversham are meeting at central park for a lunch date. I think we can get some take out and crash it if we leave now."

Neal grinned, "The things we do to annoy the people we love."

"Yeah."

***

Mozzie frowned, "I should be annoyed at you."

Neal grinned and leaned in, pressing his lips firmly to Mozzie's before pulling back and stealing Mozzie's wine glass along the way, taking a long drink before handing it back and turning back to face El and Peter who were grinning and cuddled close.

"But you aren't, are you?"

Mozzie sighed, pouring more wine into his glass to make up for stolen drinks, "I'm not. I fear we're becoming domestic."

"Take that back. Now."

Peter snorted, "Haven't you two known each other for longer than me and El have? That's got to foster some domesticity."

Neal pursed his lips, thinking about it, "Hmm, we've known each other since I was fourteen. Been together sexually since I was twenty, I think we overall make up evenly in time. It's a tie."

El laughed while Peter made an uncomfortable face, "Did you have to put it like that?"

Neal looked between the three of them, looking honestly confused, "I don't understand, what did I do?"

Mozzie rolled his eyes, "Ignore him, Neal has an overtly open relationship with his family, and came from a theatre background, plus was home-schooled. He's still learning what's socially acceptable and what not everyone takes kindly to hearing."

Peter gave Neal an amazed look, "We hired you because you're supposed to be good at conning people, didn't we?"

Neal frowned, "Um, well, maybe it's some type of pheromone? Maybe I just smell good and people give me things because of it?"

El snorted, "I think it' because you look like a lost puppy. Everyone wants to find you a good home and snuggle the sad faces away."

Neal stole Mozzie's wine glass again, looking upwards to the bright sky above them, "Nah. I'm a cat."

"Yeah you are."

***

"Daddy said that I should come in for regular monthly check ups from now until when the symbiotic pouch is ready to open." Neal sat up in bed after he spoke, working on unbuttoning and shucking off his jacket, nervous hands shaking a bit too much to hang up the clothes like he normally did after work before getting comfortable.

Mozzie hummed and came up to the bed, taking the slacks and jacket from him and hanging them up for him, putting them to the side while he rooted around in the dresser for sweats and a tee shirt. Neal changed into them and stood off the bed again, looking tired and regretting getting up at all.

"Yeah, it probably is a good idea, but you know, you don't have to go tonight, your dads said tomorrow would be fine."

Neal nodded, "Yeah, but I'd rather get it done with and spend my day off with you."

Mozzie smiled, "You feeling okay? You look a little sick."

Neal thought about it for a moment before shrugging, "A little, but if I'm still feeling this way after Aunt Janet looks at me, I know ways of worming nerve medication out of her. A nice big xanax would do me some good, don't you think?"

Mozzie snorted, "Think you could get a whole prescription out of her? I know some people that would pay top dollar for those."

Neal laughed, "I'm not gonna let you hock my non-existent medication, Moz."

Mozzie shrugged, sliding his arms around Neal's waist and pulling him back against him. Neal slowly relaxed into his hold, looking ten times as tired, but needing to let Mozzie calm him down before they called Neal's dad. "Okay, maybe I wouldn't hock them, but I need something to do all day other than planning illegal things and drinking wine all day."

"And you think walking around with a buzz might help?"

"Who said anything about walking around? I'll take one and watch my hand move for the better part of an hour."

Neal laughed again, leaning back a little more to feel Mozzie push his head against the back of his neck comfortingly.

"Sure. Lets go see Auntie and see if she's got the good stuff for us."

Mozzie smiled and reached around him to grab Neal's phone off the bedside table, "Good, call your daddies so the Prometheus can pick us up."

***

"It's the dangers of keeping a trophy husband, I guess."

Peter gave Neal an amazed look, "Are you sure about that? Are you sure that Mozzie is the trophy husband?"

Neal's brows furrowed, "Um, yeah? Why wouldn't he be?"

"Just... reasons..."

Neal paused, looking away from the folder he was making notes on in his lap, "Well yeah though, I guess we're not married and all, but it does fit. I was on Broadway for goodness sake, for five, nearly six years, and I still get offers to come back. Now, I'm working for the FBI, which shows that I have to have some sort of brain in my head, with a partner who together we have a closing rate in the eighties for our cases, and both of my parents are famous in both their fields of work as well. Mozzie just sits at home all day, when he's not doing semi-legal things that I can't tell you about, and drinks wine and talks with friends. The signs are all there, Moz is my trophy husband. Well, as far as the US government knows. Well, as far as this branch of the US government knows."

Peter frowned, that was a convincing argument, but... "Don't trophy husbands have to be pretty or something?"

Neal frowned right back, "Are you calling my precious husband, ugly? Because I take offence to that. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Well, you're blind, then."

Peter gave a worried squeak. Neal sounded kind of scary, like when El was mad at him for something, "Um, I..." Neal started laughing in front of him though, making Peter freeze from where he had been about to virtually beg for forgiveness before Neal told El on him.

"Ah, I tried, I really tried, just can't yell at someone like that though. Sorry. But yes, I am mad at you for that. Don't you dare hold your incorrect human standards of beauty to a man, which by the way, you're not attracted to men, so you don't even get the slightest say in what my as a gay man am allowed to be attracted to, and tell me that my boyfriend isn't good enough for a label I gave him in jest because he doesn't reach one single standard you think is important. Or, I'll tell El on you next time."

Neal didn't get the same scary tint to his words this time though, smiling while he made more notes on his folder before standing up and stretching before wincing and lowering his arms to his sides again with a vaguely uncomfortable look.

"Peter, I'm gonna be honest, I can't stretch like I used to with my abdomen like it is now, and I feel like my body is one giant cramp. I can fix this one way. You either send me home early with case files, knowing that I might not get them done anyways because I'm gonna take a xanax as soon as I get home, or let me take one here and hang out in your office, still probably not getting anything done. I mean, I'll probably draw you some pretty butterflies while I'm in here, and say about a million things I'll regret to you later, but at least I won't leave early."

Peter smiled, "How about we both head out early. I need to pick up the dry cleaning anyways, and I'll give you a lift home."

Neal grinned at him, "Thanks."

***

"Neal on drugs, is... interesting."

El smiled, "Honey, when did you even see him on drugs?"

"I just dropped him off at his place, and he took a xanax before we even left the building and that thing kicked in fast. Thinking about getting one of those myself, he looked comfortable."

"So, he just took a pill and passed out in your car?"

"Nah, he wasn't passed out. You don't talk quite as much as he did while passed out. He told me about how he missed having a dog though."

El raised an eyebrow, "Neal used to have a dog? He just seems like the kind of guy that would cry if he got fur on his suit."

"He keeps a lint roller and extra ties in his desk. I'm pretty sure I saw a pair of sweats and some tee shirts in there too. He seems like the kind of guy that comes prepared to leave any situation whatsoever with dignity. Well, situation, not cars."

"What does that mean."

"Well, after he told me, 'good night buddy, see you tomorrow,' he kissed me on the cheek, fell out of my car because he was still mostly buckled in when he tried to get out, and then required my help to get himself to the front door without falling and dying on the sidewalk. There was no dignity in that whatsoever."

***

"You doing better today?"

Neal frowned, thinking that over while he watched Peter pour himself a cup of coffee while sitting next to Neal and Mozzie at the breakfast table out on the balcony that him and Moz had been using for the past ten years. "What does that mean?"

Peter took a drink of the coffee and smiled. Peter liked the special beans that June imported. Neal and Mozzie liked those beans too. "Well, you seemed a bit out of it last night. Just making sure you're okay."

Neal gave Peter a scrutinizing look before laughing, "You grew up in this state didn't you?"

"Yeah, what does that have to do with anything?"

Neal shrugged, "There's a reason weed is legal in Colorado, it's not completely a coincidence."

"Do you do pot? Because that should have shown up in your drug tests."

"Nah, I stopped when I turned eighteen."

"So you did at one point?"

Neal shrugged, "Again, it was Colorado, everyone did pot. It's not like I smoked it though. My dads would have killed me if they found me willingly damaging my lungs like that."

Peter shook his head, looking amused, "Well, how did you do it than?"

"Brownies and cookies mostly."

"Hmm, do you normally have such a, fall over everything in sight, reaction?"

"I don't normally attempt to move too much while impaired."

Mozzie snorted, tossing the news paper aside, "Understatement. One time, he tried to wander off at the zoo to find a coffee stand and ended up in one of the enclosures with a mountain lion. I would love to say that this was an odd thing, but while not impaired he once set the one of the trees on fire. I'm surprised that zoo hasn't sued him for everything he's worth. They would have one heck of an argument against him."

Neal frowned, "I did not set that tree on fire, Vala tried to zat it. She didn't know it would explode like that."

Mozzie gave him an unimpressed look, "You're the one that brought her there."

Peter frowned, "Chyanne Mountain zoo? I should have known you would choose to unleash your terror in the place where it would have the highest effect. That zoo has the highest rate for most states of accidents and mayhem happening because of patrons."

Neal did grin at that, "Yeah. I caused so much shit to happen there." He looked almost wistful.

Peter sighed, "If I check, how much of that list is because of you?"

Neal thought about it for a moment, "I don't know. Maybe eighty percent?"

Peter just sighed and decided to never check to see if Neal had any outstanding warrants for other states.

***

Neal frowned at the loud thudding sound of his heart beat on the monitor while Janet waved he ultrasound wand over his stomach.

He never liked this part.

"The womb is growing. I guess you've got less than half a year before it's ready to be opened."

Neal looked down at his stomach with a worried frown, "When it's ready? What then?"

Janet smiled at him soothingly, "When it's ready, we'll open it, it might might end up opening itself. We can't do it yet because I can still see it growing, but soon."

Neal nodded and turned to the other side of the examination bed where his dads and Mozzie were watching him, Mozzie and Jack looking at the screen while Daniel held Neal's right hand and looked at his stomach with a slight frown.

Neal accepted the towel from Janet and used it to scrub the gel off his stomach, sitting up with a wince. "What do I do when it's open? Tretonin I know, but I'm not sure that would entirely be enough. I've been kidnapped before and don't really like the idea of dying because some idiot held me hostage for more than two days."

Daniel frowned and slid onto the bed beside him, still holding onto his hand while he pulled Neal back against him. "Two options for that actually. One is tretonin, which we're going to make sure you have enough on you at all times in case anything happens. But I was hoping that you would mainly choose one or two fo the blank slate symbiotes we keep for Jaffa that can't risk being seen without one."

Neal gave him an odd look, "Isn't that a bad idea, I mean, if I get caught with one-"

"Would that be any worse than getting caught with a giant hole in your abdomen and trying to explain that away?"

Neal turned to glare at Jack while the man shrugged, "I guess not. Aren't those symbiotes impressionable?"

Daniel nodded before hooking his chin over Neal's shoulder, using his other arm to pull Neal further back into him, like he was trying to protect him from bad thoughts. Neal felt oddly comforted by that.

"They retain minor knowledge of whatever host carries them, but otherwise have no actual knowledge of things other than how to act and stay alive."

Neal nodded, "Well, why should I carry multiple."

Jack snorted while Daniel grinned against his shoulder, "Well, we found out last year when Teal'c was carrying one to a Tokra colony, they apparently get lonely. It's mostly just so they don't get bored and make a fuss while you're in public. Or, if worst comes to worst and one dies, you can take it out without worrying that you'll die too."

Neal's eyes went wide, nodding absently, "This is very, not comforting."

"Baby, you might have to live the rest of your life, which could be several hundred years, with different symbiotes in your stomach playing nanny. Nothing about this is comfortable."

"I guess not."

***

"There is no way in hell I'm gonna live the rest of my long annoying life without you."

Mozzie raised an eyebrow, "What do you want me to do about it? Get old as fuck and go on life support for the next few hundred years?"

Neal wrinkled his nose, "Ew no. I can't have sex with a man on life support, it might kill you. I've been thinking though."

Mozzie looked unimpressed. "Go on."

"These symbiotes are gonna basically be learning from me. They're gonna know most of my knowledge, which means languages, planetary knowledge, maybe even my shitty childhood."

Mozzie frowned, "I see where this is going, and do you really want to inflict your mental issues on me?"

Neal grinned, rolling over on the bed so he could see Mozzie better. "If I can't inflict awful things on my soulmate, who can I inflict them on?"

Mozzie cracked a smile. He couldn't help it. He had a weakness for Neal calling him his soulmate. "Fine. If I'm going to take one of your devil spawn as my own eternal companion, convince your parents too. I can't stand your for the rest of eternity without their help."

"Deal."

***

"So, I hear this, uh... Wormhole show is getting pretty popular."

Neal froze, not looking up as Jones took a seat across from him, looking intrigued while Diana gave him an odd look. "I suppose it is. Wormhole X-Treme right?"

Jones nodded, "Yeah. My girlfriend is really into it apparently. She says the show itself is one giant controversy."

Neal couldn't hold back a snort, pulling up the case file he was hold to cover his face while he giggled in a very manly fashion into it.

"Got something to say, Caffrey?"

Neal lowered the folder with one last snort and nearly bust out laughing outright when he took in Diana and Jones' worried looks. "Me? Nah, nothing to say."

"You look like you got something on your mind." Diana supplied, looking more currious now.

Neal took a dep breath, trying to keep himself from giggling again, "Uh, no, just, things. You know, Moz said something kind of similar about it once. The show's in what, it, fourth season now?"

Jones nodded and Neal smiled, "I guess it is."

Neal nodded back, "Well just, you know Moz and his conspiracy. Says that the show is a front for an actual portal to another world and that we're actually sending teams off the world to other planets where they look for new technology to protect Earth, and just... you know Moz, always got a crazy story to talk about."

Jones and Diana cracked amused smiles, "Yeah. Guess it does sound pretty crazy."

"Well, that's actually not the conspiracy that she was talking about though. Says there's something odd about the creator, Martin Loyde. Said he's never been seen before."

Neal snorted, "That's crazy, I'm sure the actors have seen him."

Clinton shrugged, "She said they've been sworn to secrecy."

Okay, close, but no dice. They signed confidentiality agreements to not tell anyone who he was because Moz didn't want any of his less than legal friends knowing had actually had an above board job up in Canada.

Neal shook his head, "Yeah, well, you know those Canadians right? So weird."

They both gave him and odd look and Neal was soon saved by Peter coming into the room with a group of others ready to start the days meeting.

***

"Do you know why Jones and Diana are asking me if you watch Wormhole X-Treme? Because I'd figured if they wanted to gossip about tv with you they'd just ask you."

Neal frowned, taking a delicate bite out of his sandwich. He didn't exactly feel all too great today, probably best not to overfill his stomach. "Well, Jones and Diana are kind of weird, all you Americans are to be honest, maybe the atmosphere is finally getting to them."

Neal shoved another bite into his mouth, chewing longer than usual while Peter eyed him up suspiciously. "Is this another one of those things you can't legally tell me?"

Neal thought about it for a moment, "Well, I don't have anything stating that I can't legally tell you, I morally shouldn't."

"When has that ever stopped your before?"

Neal shrugged, "Since I love my soulmate enough to keep secrets."

"Okay, if Mozzie is involved, I wont ask."

"Good idea."

***

Neal was late.

Neal groaned as he blinked over at the clock, next to the bed, listening to Mozzie snore next to him on the other side of the bed.

The alarm had gone off an hour ago, but he was still laying here. He didn't fully feel like he could move.

He sighed and reached out and pulled open the drawer on the table and reached out to feel for the pill bottle in there, pulling it out and fumbling it open.

He dry swallowed one of the pills before it got partially stuck in his throat and he sat up as much as he could, grabbing the glass off the table and drinking down enough to swallow it properly.

He shoved the glass back onto the table and lay back, gathering up enough strength to grab his phone and call Peter or at least shove Mozzie awake and make him do it, but he was asleep before he could try again.

***

When Neal's eyes opened again, he could hear knocking on the door and Mozzie opening it. Peter's voice filtered through and he opened his eyes again, not realizing he'd closed them.

He thought about going back to sleep when he felt how full his bladder was and decided to get up to empty it. He nearly fell out of the bed when he got up and sighed, holding one hand to his head while he listened to Moz and Peter talk to each other on the other side of the room, sounding worried.

He heaved himself up, wincing when he did. He really had to pee.

He got about halfway across the room before stumbling, suddenly finding a hand at his elbow, helping him back up. He blinked fuzzily at Mozzie and smiled, "Just gotta pee. Be back."

Mozzie nodded, still looking worried while Peter floated in the background somewhere. Neal wasn't fully sure where yet, the pictures kept moving.

Maybe he could try painting it.

When Neal's bladder was emptied he felt a little cleared headed, walked a little steadier, but the pain in his stomach felt sharper, and getting sharper with every step.

"Moz-"

Neal didn't make to too far out of the back, eyes rolling into the back of his head when his body fell to the ground.

"Shit, he's bleeding!"

Mozzie shoved Peter towards him while Neal's body started seizing, "You have more medical training than I do, stabilize him while I call for help. Focus on the seizure first before the bleeding."

Peter didn't pause to ask why, just slid to the floor next to his partner and stabilized him the best he could.

Mozzie didn't call 911 though.

Peter didn't even notice anything was different other than his partner slowly bleeding out in his lap until they weren't at Mozzie and Neal's apartment anymore. The change was instantaneous.

He was moved out of the way and suddenly Neal was on a gurney, being wheeled out of the room while Peter stood in shock, looking at one of the sterile white walls of the room he was in.

That just... but that was just...

"Agent Burke?"

Peter blinked and turned, looking at the woman who'd said his name, standing silently while she waited for Peter to respond. "Yes?"

"I need you to come with me. Neal will be fine, I promise, he's sedated and being cared for right now. I need you to come with me though."

Peter blinked again a few more times before looking around. There was no one else here but them. Where had Mozzie gone?

He nodded, "Of course."

***

When Neal started regaining consciousness, he could hear beeping. Heart monitor?

Neal's eyes fluttered and he heard someone move close to him, "Nelly?"

Daddy?

"Nelly, baby can you open those big eyes for me? Please?"

Could he?

"Neal, mon amour, open your eyes?"

Mozzie. He tried a little harder to open them now, taking in a sharp breath of air at the sudden feeling of pain across his stomach.

"I think he's in pain."

Papa? Why am I in pain?

He felt a stinging cold go up his arm and took another sharp breath in surprise. When the cold went away, the tired started coming back, making him feel dead to the world.

Sorry, Daddy, the eyes won't open yet.

***

"He's been out for nearly eighteen hours."

Mozzie nodded numbly, "He'll be fine, Suit. We've been over this, it's his biology, he's adjusting."

He heard a quiet cough come from El and frowned at her, "Moz, Neal's a lot older than most other, uh... Jaffa, are when they get these symbiotes, and they gave him an injection right away intstead of putting one in. Maybe that has something to do with it."

Mozzie rolled his eyes, looking annoyed, "Right, because that must mean he's dying, right? The only thing wrong with him right now is that his body wasn't originally supposed to have a symbiotic pouch in it. That changed in the womb and now he does. We weren't sure it would ever open until nearly three years ago. He'll be fine. Jaffa are actually stronger than humans, he'll survive. The wounds will start to scab over within the hour, Janet said."

They heard a throat clearing and they all looked up from where they were scattered on the floor outside the medical bay in the Prometheus where Neal was being treated. Peter and El had traded their civilian clothing for more comfortable military issue sweats and tee shirts somewhere around five hours ago after a short nap, and Mozzie was wearing his usual bright colours that made you want to kill yourself to look at.

Shifu was standing in the doorway, looking worried. "Nelly is up, he wants you, Moz."

Mozzie nodded and was up and through the door before Peter and El could blink.

They looked at each other before they heard a light cough come up again. They looked back at Shifu and waited.

Shifu walked over and sat on the other side of the hallway across from them, "I'm not very good at talking to people who live on Earth and don't personally know other plants, so forgive me, but it needs to be said."

El and Peter nodded for him to go on.

"Nelly isn't human in the slightest, he's biologically Jaffa, he was born on another world, and he aged eight years in three, no signs which point to being human. But, somehow, despite me being almost exactly the same, we differ when it comes to actually fitting in.

"Nelly personally asked for El to be told the first time he woke up so you wouldn't have to lie to her. He didn't want any of this to get in the way of your marriage because he respects you both so much. But, I have to say, that if any of this is going to effect the way you treat him, other than with heightened knowledge, than say so now, because my brother honestly likes you both. He would be devastated by your loss if it came to it.

"He hasn't known you for long, but it never took Nelly long to form lasting attachments to people, so this isn't a friendship that he'll abandon after sufficient time, he'll cling to you as long as he can. Just tell me if this is too much, and I'll figure out a way to make it all go away for you. But don't for one second think I'll let you walk away from this and keep him too."

Peter and El looked at each other with wide eyes before turning back to Shifu, "We would never just leave him. Could never."

Shifu nodded, "Good, now get in there and show it to him before I get annoyed. He misses you both already, thinks he's pushed too hard and now you both want to leave. Keep letting him think that and I'll be far too cross with you."

They nodded and got up, going into the room to find Neal.

***

"I'm a daddy."

Mozzie frowned, "I'm not sure that's-"

"I'm a daddy."

"But, Neal, that's not-"

"I am a daddy."

El finally burst out laughing first, making Neal crack a smiled and Mozzie glare at them all. Peter was quietly snickering behind his wife while they watching Neal look into the symbiot tank with a smile.

"Neal, I don't understand, why do you think of it this way?"

Neal looked over at his brother and grinned, nudging into his side before going back to his stiff postured stance hanging off the side of the bed with on hand in the salt-ish water while the baby symbiotes gently nudged and greeted him.

"Well, I'll have at least two of these little ones in me for the next five or so years, while they learn most things that I already know. Esseciacly, I'm a mommy kangaroo keeping her babies safe and teaching them right from wrong for the next five years. They need me, and I nurture them. I am daddy now."

Mozzie snorted and slid onto his other side, arm hooking around Neal's waist lightly. "We didn't think we'd be parents. Are you feeling your biological clock ticking yet?"

Neal nodded, "Yeah. It feels like if I don't get a symbiote in me within the next forty-eight hours, I'll probably die. Not all that far from the truth."

***

"So... how are you feeling?"

Neal looked up from his desk and smiled at Peter. The desk itself was cluttered with random objects, water bottles, paper clips, his rubber band ball looked like it was going to fall off the edge, and lots of sketches.

Normal, it seems for a man who was more than slightly frazzled about having two new roommates in his body and trying to get used to having new feelings all over the place.

But, Neal wasn't supposed to be in today. In fact, he wasn't supposed to be in until next Monday. That was about four days away.

When he'd gotten in today, he was reading over one of the files Dr Jackson had thought a good idea to send him now that he had so much more information, and frowning, going straight to his office. Neal must have been somewhere else because he hadn't seen him at his desk until Jones and Diana had cornered him in his office asking if it was a good idea to have Neal back to work so soon after his most recent 'surgery'.

"I feel great! Well, greater than I have in years to be honest. I feel like I can run a mile without getting a stitch in my side and falling down in pain for the next few hours."

Peter nodded and pulled over a stray chair from an unused desk and sat down, looking Neal in the eye, "Are you sure you should be back into work yet?"

Neal put down the charcoal pencil and sighed, swiveling to get a better look at Peter, "Peter, all I would be doing at home is sitting there while my dad attempt to feed me things."

Peter's eyebrows furrowed, "I thought you liked Daniel's cooking? You once said that your favorite cooking was when your dad cooked."

Neal nodded, looking a little sad, "Yeah, but it's weird right now. It's like, all my body wants is orange ice cream and buttered noodles. I don't even like ice cream, and buttered noodles are bland as frick. I don't know what it is, but every smell ever seems to be making me queasy."

Peter nodded, "Well, you sure sound pregnant."

Neal grinned, "I know, but I'm not sure I can last the rest of my life getting nauseous by every smell and eating ice cream."

"You'll get used to it I guess."

Neal shrugged, "Auntie Janet said that too. Just annoying right now."

***

"So..."

"So what?"

Peter sighed and sat back at his desk, watching his partner attempt to drink and entire red bull in one go before getting winded half way through.

"So, I finally put it together."

"Put what together, Peter? I may not be human, but I haven't developed mind reading abilities yet. Just learning the exhaustion of being permanently pregnant and unable to kel'nor'eem to recharge my batteries."

Peter frowned, "You're not sleeping?"

Neal shrugged, "I can sleep, but it doesn't really do anything. I need to reach a higher level of meditation to get rest. I've never been one for sitting still. I'll get it."

Peter nodded and decided to take Neal home after taking him out to crash El and Mozzie's lunch today.

"Mozzie. He's Martin Loyde."

Neal paused before draining the rest of the red bull with an odd look on his face, "Yeah. Am I gonna have to pay you to keep quiet about it? Because I will. If I have to."

Peter shook his head, "Nah, I know how to keep a secret."

"I know how to keep a million."

***

"What's that?"

Neal frowned, "What's what?"

Diana pointed to her forehead and frowned back at him, "That black thing on your forehead."

Neal frowned even deeper before the look was replaced with one of worry. He opened his desk drawer and rotted around before pulling out a mirror.

"Do you have an entire wardrobe emergency kit in there? Because that might actually be nice to know in case I ever need to steal something from you."

Neal smirked, and gave her a secretive smile before opening the mirror and holding it up. "Shit."

"Yeah. What is that? Looks like ink."

Neal rooted around in the drawer again before pulling out what looked like a small make up kit. "It's something that really shouldn't be out."

Diana followed him into the mens restroom, watching him apply the make up to his forehead with a frown. He paused and turned to her, looking like he was about to ask her why she was following him before shrugging and going back to applying the concealer.

"You have a forehead tattoo? I did not peg you for the thug love ink lover."

Neal snorted before schooling his features back into a smoother one to finish applying it and look himself over to make sure it was good. "Yeah. Not a very willing tattoo, but it's not something I'm willing to get rid of either."

Diana frowned, "You had a tattoo forced on you? When? And how?"

Neal shrugged, "How much of my folder have you read?"

She thought about it, "Apparently not enough. You were born in Egypt, and came to America to live with your dad when you were eight. You got into college at fourteen, and NYADA at eighteen, Broadway when you were twenty-three. Here by twenty-nine."

Neal thought it over before nodding, packing the kit up again. "The uh... the man the kidnapped my mother when she was pregnant with me, my twin brother's biological father, was kind of... a slave trader."

Well, to be honest, that was actually a very close lie.

"I'm not even sure what to focus on first here."

Neal gave her a worried look, "Whenever I say something about my life before I was eight, that's always the reply. I don't get it. It's fairly straight forward."

Diana shook her head and frowned, "So, you're saying, the man who kidnapped your mother marked you as one of the slaves?"

"Yep, that. Thing is, my father was born in Egypt too, but he's white, and my mother was born there, but she's not, and the man that kidnapped her was very dark skinned. So, when pink little me came out, he knew I wasn't his. I'm lucky he didn't just kill me instead."

"So, instead of that lovely alternative, you're marked as his property for now on?"

"Yep."

"Why not get it removed?"

Neal shrugged, "After watching him slaughtered by other slaves who bare the same mark, I can't fully bring myself to hate it."

Diana frowned, "That's one hell of a story. Bet therapists have a field day with you."

"Nah, I had great parents after it all. They knew how to raise me right, even if I do still carry some angry over some things."

"Well, if you ever need anyone to talk to to get it all out, I've always wanted to dissect your brain."

Neal just smiled. "Maybe later I can show you the entire thing uncovered."

***

"That's so creepy."

El hit Peter on the chest for his blunt words, walking past him to check on Mozzie in the kitchen alone with the wine.

Peter looked a little sorry before flopping into the couch next to Neal, "That's uh... no, that's still creepy."

Neal shrugged, "You think I don't know that?"

They both looked down to where Neal's fingers were splayed on his stomach, tee-shirt rucked up to show the giant x on his abdomen. That wasn't the weird part.

The weird part was two of Neal's fingers disappeared inside of it, and one slimy white symbiote wrapped around Neal's other fingers.

"They like physical contact."

"Being physically inside your body not close enough?"

Neal glared at Peter a little, "Does Satchmo like it better when you scratch his belly or just lay your hand on it?"

Peter nodded in understanding while Satchmo looked up at him name, making a whining noise until Peter reached over and pet him. He looked back at Neal though when he heard a slightly high pitched squeak from him. "Are they communicating?"

"With each other. They're pretty good friends. Learning when it's okay to make noise and when they need to be my quiet little mice."

Peter snickered, "That's impressive."

Neal shrugged, "Eh, they're impressive babies."

"Yeah, seems like it."

***

Neal leaned back against Mozzie in the dark bedroom of their apartment. They had put up some curtains after Neal's most recent 'surgery' to keep anyone from seeing in while Neal was changing or at night, but only in the bedroom area. Neal had dragged the tv around the corner so they could lounge on Neal's bed while Neal sketched and Mozzie mouthed the words to 'Tiles of Fire' and kept both hands on Neal's stomach.

Neal dropped the sketch pad to the side and yawned loudly. He sat up a little and gave Mozzie an annoyed look, "I need rest. I can kel'nor'eem in the closet if you want me to?"

Mozzie snorted and turned the tv off. "With your luck, you'll set everything on fire. Just do it in here, I have a book to read until I'm tired anyways."

Neal nodded and leaned up to kiss him.

Neal missed being able to wake up refreshed and happy in his boyfriends arms. It was harder for him to meditate than children that had been doing it since birth, and he missed curling up around Mozzie when they slept.

They were closer than ever though, because of how much watching your partner apparently brought people together, but Neal couldn't help but miss just napping in Mozzie's arms while awful movies played in the background.

He lit candles in a circle around the mat and settled down though. He was getting better at this.

Still missed before though.

Be ever missed the beginning. Not even slightly.


End file.
